He's ALL mine!
And this cute little boy?
And this dorky guy?
He's ALLLL mine!!! Aren't I lucky? |
Don't we make such a cute couple?
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Now check out these email subject lines:
From Sarah Lynn: AHHHH! CAN WE REALLY?!
From F.B.: Yes...hehe.
WE'RE FINALLY GETTING MARRIED!!!
F.B. and I have been talking about things and working out alot of issues since last weekend. We've also been discussing the future. We've decided we'll be getting married next year! We never really had a set plan on when we were going to marry. But we've finally decided on getting married fall/winter of 2009. I will probably stay in the Philippines 4-5 months next year. No set date on the day we'll be getting married though because it depends on how long it takes to file our paperwork, marriage license, etc.
We will be getting married in the Philippines by a judge. We both have never wanted a big wedding. Just a small ceremony with family/friends and dinner out afterwards. (Here are the requirements for me to marry in the Philippines.)
We've also always talked about having a short honeymoon in Boracay! F.B. has always said he wanted to take me there and we agreed a long time ago we would do that when we got married!
Here are a few paragraphs from some of our emails from the past few days:
From Sarah Lynn: So are we getting married next year? Are we really?! Am I allowed to blog about it yet? Haha! I just want you to say we can do this, that we'll make the commitment and plan on getting married next year. I want that so much! I want to be with you for good... I want to start our lives together. And you know we probably won't get to really be "together" until some time in 2010. But at least we'll be married and working towards filing paperwork so we can actually live together in the same place!
And if you think about that, that's still awhile to find a job since it's only mid 2008, if we get married in late 2009 and don't live in the same place until 2010.... you see what I mean? Isn't that enough time for you? Aaaaaah! I want to get married to you! I do! I want to get married next year! I could stay for 4 months or so and we could get married and maybe even take a little honeymoon to Boracay for a few days... and we could get to spend so much time together. And I could come home and file paperwork for you to come here- unless you've found a great job, then I can file paperwork to move there...
From F.B.: Btw, the answer is yes baby. haha. We could get married late next year. I wanna be with you. I know that the job issue can get frustrating. But I do hope that I could find a job before that like you said, to get some experience and save up too. That would be nice. Late 2009 sounds nice baby. It's not that I changed my mind about it. I just thought it was a little too soon to get married this coming October like you said since I'm still looking for a job and you're saving money too. I wanna be able to save up some money too for us whenever I get a job.
We've always agreed that the person who was more financially stable wouldn't move. Since I've been at my Government job 6 years now, make a nice salary, have good health & retirement benefits, have my credit cards, good credit and our savings. The best option financially for us, would be for F.B. to move to the US. Now if F.B. does find an amazing job over there before or right after we marry I would definitely move to the Philippines to be with him. The person that moves will be unemployed for several months while the paperwork is filed and before they can find employment. We did talk about this option when I was in the Philippines in January and he agreed it made sense.
Also even though I love the Philippines so much & love visiting there, I wonder if it would be difficult for me to obtain employment there. The visa procedures also seem more complex than the USA procedures. I worry about the language barrier. Tagalog is the main language, even though English is also spoken. I don't think I will ever be able to speak Tagalog fluently. I know words & phrases and a little taglish, but I am not fluent. And I don't think I would ever be able to drive in the Philippines! The traffic scares me too much!
So that is my big news! We'll be getting married next year!!! I'm excited. We'll have to look at wedding bands when we are together in October. We can price them over there, though they may be cheaper to get here in the USA, we'll have to see. Hehe!
A typical girly post...
I used to run constantly when I first lost the 60 pounds on my treadmill. I would run/walk 30 min every day. Then when I got down to my goal weight I started running twice a week. But this year since I've gotten back from the Philippines in January I have been very lazy about working out. I don't really have a set schedule at all & there's been a few months where I've just worked out once the entire month. My diet is pretty much to same & I always watch what I eat... so I know that's not the issue... my issue is getting my butt on my treadmill and sticking to a schedule. I've been extremely lazy this year and it's starting to catch up with me...
Monday I started working out again. Now instead of struggling through 30 minutes of running/walking twice a week, I've been running for a full 15 minutes. Which is a nice change from my usual workout that was becoming monotonous to me. So all this week Monday-Friday I'll be running 15 minutes every day. Then I'll try to increase to 20 min next month... when my body gets used to working out again! It feels so good to work out & I can't wait until my jeans are actually comfortable on me again!
In other news... F.B. & I have been emailing & meeting for our online "dates" on the weekend. It's nice getting back on track with my relationship. We always chatted on my cell phone on instant messenger on my lunch breaks every day, but it's nice to be able to talk about stuff again and to spend more time with each other. We've been having some serious discussions/talks the past weekend/week. I might be able to announce some big news on this blog within the next couple of days. Stay tuned...
Oh no...
I think Spice was jealous of my staring the laptop all day and decided to "disconnect" us from the Internet. Either that or she was sick of hearing me talking about how I wanted a new router- and decided to fix that!
We didn't have Internet all Sunday. And 5 other people use the DSL in this house. My Dad tried to splice the wire back together but it didn't work. I ordered a new router from Circuit City last night and picked it up at the store today. Installed it and everything is back to normal now... and no more ratties on my desk!!!
In other news I have overtime this week. I'll be going in an hour early and I may be working for a little while on Saturday. Taking my Dad & Mom out on Saturday for an early Father's Day Dinner.
Dissecting my laptop...
So I had to order a new front & back casing from: http://www.parts-people.com/
Then I did some research online and found out it's a flaw with model E1505- look at all these people with the same issue: (I posted too.) The picture someone posted is exactly the issue I have, though it's looking even worse now.
http://www.dellcommunity.com/supportforums/board/message?board.id=insp_general&thread.id=272885
It's the hinge. And I when I opened it up the other night both hinges were not aligning properly which is causing the plastic casing to separate and crack. My laptop isn't under warranty anymore so I have install the parts myself.... so I get to dissect my laptop this weekend...
This looks super fun: http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/ins6400/en/sm/display.htm#wp1022272
It just makes no sense for me to buy a a new laptop that will cost several hundred dollars, when I can repair this one for about $50. It's only 2 years old. Plus it's just a nice laptop with a 2.00GHz Intel Core Duo processor, 256MB ATI Radeon video card & 2GB RAM! hehe. I love that Dell's systems are really nice and run well. The only thing is, they make the casing and plastic pretty junky, so things like this happen. I guess that's why they are more affordable than other PC's with the same specs.
I did have to replace my keyboard a year ago because the M button stopped working so I have been inside my laptop before. And I just ordered the 2GB of RAM. It arrived today so I installed that! Yay! Just a little nervous about taking the LCD screen out and disconnecting the wires- so I hope it goes well this weekend! My parts are supposed to arrive Saturday according to the Fed Ex Tracking. Wish me luck!
EDIT 6-7-08: ALL DONE! It only took about an hour! My brother helped me with it. It was actually really simple to take off the old parts & replace with the new parts. And The LCD screen came out easy and went back in very easy. So now my laptop looks brand new again with the new lid on it and the hinges are so smooth when I open & close it. Yay! I'm happy! The laptop turned on just fine. No screen issues!
All Better!
In other news F.B. & I have been communicating better than we have these past few weeks. We still haven't talked seriously about things yet, but we are both doing much better since my venting post. Long distance relationships are so difficult & the distance between us is just crazy! It's so difficult when you're both from different countries. It's just so frustrating & such a struggle sometimes. Talking about or planning our future is also full of complications and struggles. Thank you everyone for your comments, thoughts & advice. I really appreciate it.
I am so frustated!
I'm just so frustrated with our relationship right now. I've been missing our "dates" online each weekend because whenever I get online to talk with him I feel depressed or I feel angry with him. Whenever I bring up the job issue I get, "I'm sorry.", "I hope...", "It would be nice..."
The "Job Issue" has became a huge issue for me. It's been a year since F.B. graduated college. He's been looking for employment but he just hasn't found anything. Sometimes I just don't know if he is putting himself out there as much as he should or trying as hard as he should. We had an argument about this back in January after I got back from the Philippines because when we were together I asked him if he was still job searching and he said, "He put it off because he knew I was coming to visit and he didn't want to be working when I visited."
We disagree sometimes because we have different points of views and experiences. I've gotten up for 6 years and gone to a job I dislike... but I do it because the money there allows me to travel yearly, to save money for my future and it's also worth it because I have 3-4 months off out of the year. (I work for the Dept of the Treasury).
F.B. wants to find the perfect job. And I try to explain to him, the first job he finds might not be his dream job, it might be something he has to do until something better comes along. But it would be a job and it would mean security and income to save together and I know he wants to save for our future together. But it's been a year! And my Fiance is going to be 29 years old this October and he still has not found a job! I still live with my parents too, but I support myself. I also pay a lot of bills for my parents- towards my rent. And they know I am saving money to move out & get married.
It's just gotten to the point where I am so frustrated and angry with him. I'm tired of giving people an honest answer when they ask, "Has your fiance gotten a job yet?" I want to lie to them just to stop them from answering, "He STILL hasn't found a job!?" I'm tired of being embarrassed about it. I'm tired of laughing bitterly about it or making stupid jokes.
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life. I could have gone to a tech school in these 4 years. I actually was enrolled in a tech school almost 4 years ago but the school canceled my classes and I haven't tried again. I put the tech school idea off because I didn't want to be tied to loans in the USA if I was going to move to the Philippines. I didn't want to tie up my money or have major debt when we are saving to be married.
To be honest. I don't really want to move to the Philippines anymore. To do so would mean giving up driving, (I am NEVER driving over there!), my credit cards, financial security, employment opportunities. Somehow I understand that he might not be able to just walk in and get a quick job as a cashier or something. They do not have equal opportunity employment in the Philippines. I've looked at the want ad's. They have age requirements & cut-offs for certain jobs. Their requirements for a job are so specific sometimes they ask you to be a certain age, height, weight, sex & religion. At least if I stay in the USA. I have job security. Both my parents have been saying to me lately, "Just get married and bring him to the USA." My Dad said, "There's more job opportunities in the USA." For my Dad to say that... Wow.
F.B. has never been "excited" about the prospect of moving to the USA. He isn't looking to just come to the USA. If he was, he would have married me the first chance I gave him. But he's a good guy and he wants things to be perfect for us when we do get married. He wants to have money and to feel secure. He worries too much about things sometimes. He's always wanted to stay in the Philippines & the plan was always for me to move to the Philippines... but lately my feelings have changed on that.
If it's taking him this long to find a job, it would make more sense for us to get married & work on bringing him to the USA so he could find employment here. Filing the paperwork would take long enough to even get him over here. But even the "marriage thing" is a big argument with us... I am just so frustrated with my relationship right now and need to vent....
EDIT: My ticket is non-refundable, I won't be canceling my trip to the Philippines...
Cinnamon Update!
Relationship Struggles & Home Sickness.
Our relationship feels a bit stagnant right now... and there's still 4 1/2 more months until my trip back to the Philippines, until we get to be together again. There's also issues we are dealing with; the fact F.B. is still struggling to find employment a year after he graduated college. Stress on me with saving up money for our future and just feeling like we are never going to be together for good... where are we going? I've just been having these feelings lately and that always seems to happen after we've been together and then have to go through the long distance "separation" phase again. It's just been tough the past 2 months and we are struggling somewhat to get back on track... because in long distance relationships it's all about staying in touch and having good communication... it's something you have to work at every day.
In other news, this will be the first time I'll be staying in the Philippines 2 months. My past trips, I've only stayed 3 weeks, which was the limit I could stay on my passport. I'm still worried about my passport... I have to contact the Philippine Consulate in August to make sure they are still mailing it out in September and haven't forgotten about it. (Visa Issues)
Whenever I'm in the Philippines for awhile I'll go through a moment of culture shock and homesickness. The first year this happened first when I got my period and discovered there were no tampons! I was also homesick on Christmas Day, when we went to the mall to have lunch. There were just hundreds of people & familes at the mall on Christmas Day & it was just a bit of a culture shock to me because at home the malls are closed on Christmas Day & everyone stays home with their families.
In January I had a homesickness moment too. It was the first time I was away from my new pet ratties and the previous year I had went to the Philippines my Ferret Nippy had been sick with cancer and when I returned home I had been too tired to see her. When I woke up the next morning I went to say hello to her and she had passed away in the night. So it was kind of hard being away from my new pets because I was afraid of the same thing happening...
I also had another culture shock when I hurt my knee and we were looking for an 'Ace' bandage, I had to explain to F.B. what it was; "Those tan stretchy bandages with the metal clips." before he knew what I meant. (I know Ace is a brand in the USA. But pretty much everyone calls those tan bandages an 'Ace' bandage in the USA.) We finally found one in Mercury Drug, but they are called 'Elastic' bandages in the Philippines, haha. I was feeling so homesick that night we went to eat at Friday's because it was somewhere familiar to me except the price of Friday's in the Philippines is just crazy! We experienced this the first time we went to Friday's in the Philippines, haha. Normally F.B. & I can go and eat at a sit down place for around $10 or less between us. But Friday's is so expensive! My salmon plate alone cost $17! We ended up splitting the bill.
So... I wonder what it will be like staying in a foreign country for 2 months. I'm sure I'll have some homesickness & culture shock moments. But at least they'll make interesting blogs!
Home from the Vet!
Mom & I picked Cinnamon up around 5:30 from the vet. She looks so well! She's my hyper active baby again! I wasn't expecting that. They made a tiny incision for the spay and had to use metal sutures since rats can try to chew on them. They only shaved her belly a bit. And it doesn't look so bad.
She has an appointment at 6pm next Thursday so they can check the sutures and see if they need to be removed yet or not. They also didn't charge me for antibiotics because she has the full bottle of Cirpro at home still. I'm supposed to give that to her twice daily still. I also have to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't chew her sutures. She looks so much happier today and not as lethargic. And no bleeding! It also didn't cost as much as they were estimating since they didn't need to run blood tests or give me more antibiotics. It was $239.00. I was so relieved about that! I know some people wouldn't pay that much for a "rat" but she's my pet and I love her and I didn't want her to suffer.
I held Sugar and Spice up to Cinnamon to say hello when she got home. Sugar just sniffed Cinnamon, but Spice nuzzled Cinnamon's face almost like a kiss. It was so sweet! They were happy to see their sister, they both seemed anxious today. Of course they will be separated for awhile, but I'll let them say hello like that at least once a day.
Here's some pictures taken a few minutes ago, now she's settled down for a nap. You can see her metal sutures... I've nicknamed her "Franken-Rat". heehee.
Here's some pictures from day 2 at home after her spay. No more bleeding! And she is much more active now and doesn't seem to be in any pain. She has an appointment on Thursday for a check up to see if the sutures can be removed yet.
Off to the Vet...
When I woke up in the morning, the bleeding was actually heavier. I really didn't want to leave her, but I had to go to work. I called the vet around 9am this morning. They called me back and told me she would need an emergency spay. She could either have Pyometra (disease of the uterus) or crystals or stones from a urinary tract infection. But if she's bleeding that's a bad sign. So I have to drop her off at the vet tomorrow to get spayed. All together it's going to cost around $300.00. That's quite alot of money. $200.00 for the spay and the rest is for anesthesia & antibiotics, etc. It's major surgery and they have to put her to sleep for it.
My manager at work thought I was crazy when I told her I had get my pet rat spayed. She said, "You really want to spend that much money? It's a rodent." But a pet is a pet to me. Rats are NOT disposable pets! A rat has as much a right to live as a cat or dog, etc. I know some people do not typically think of rats being a type of pet. But rats are incredibly social, lovable and clean animals. And they have a right to be healthy too! It would be cruel to put her to sleep or let her bleed to death! She's only 3 1/2 months old!
Female & Male rats can be spayed & neutered. Usually females are only spayed in worse case scenarios. I have heard females can tend to have issues with their reproductive system or tumors.
I'm really nervous for tomorrow. When I got home from work the blanket she had with her in the cage had large spots of blood on it. The bleeding has been on & off tonight. She's also been kind of lethargic and usually she is my hyperactive baby. She didn't even come when I called her name, usually she jumps up from wherever she is to run over to me as fast as she can. The vet said she did not need to fast before the surgery so I gave her some cooked spinach and scrambled eggs tonight (iron & protein) since she's lost so much blood.
I am waking up at 8am tomorrow and taking Cinnamon over to the vet around 9am. They said they will call when I have to pick her up sometime in the afternoon or evening. I am going to ask them to call me when the surgery is over also. I actually was able to take off work so I'll be available to pick her up at anytime. My manager wasn't mean about letting me take off, she just couldn't understand why I'd spend so much money on a "rodent". A few other people at work thought I was crazy too... but you get those kinds of reactions when you own rats as pets.
I wasn't expecting such a large expense... so I may have to dig a little into my savings to pay for the surgery. And thank god we've been having overtime at work on Saturdays. I'm also doing some eBay sales this week so the money from that will probably go towards the vet bill also. What can I say... pets are like children sometimes.... I need to get some sleep. I'm so glad I have off work for Memorial Day. I'll be off work Monday-Thursday next week. Everyone please keep me & Cinnamon in your prayers & thoughts for tomorrow. I also want to say thank you to my friends at the Rat Chatter Forums. They are the best!