I made a timeline of my relationship with F.B. over the years. Our relationship hasn't been the typical one, but it's been an amazing experience & adventure so far and more to come in the future.

✯ 2003 ✯

September 2003: Crossed paths online at Lindsay Fan's Forum. (Lindsay Lohan.)

✯ 2004 ✯

January 2004: Began talking at Lindsay Fan's Forum.

February 14th 2004: First "Valentines" Together. F.B. sent me a picture of roses through a pm message.

March 18th, 2004: First emails exchanged outside the forum.

March, 2004: F.B. saw a photo of me for the very first time.

April 1st, 2004: The first time we ever said, "I love you.", and defined our relationship as a couple.

April 2004: Exchanged Addresses & Phone Numbers. We called each other & sent letters that month. The Lindsay Fan forum closed. We also broke up for about a week or so because of stress, family issues & distance…

June, 2004: I saw F.B.'s photo for the very first time.

✯ 2005 ✯

February 14th 2005: Our first "official" Valentines together as a couple.

April 1st, 2005: Our 1st Anniversary.

✯ 2006 ✯ 

January, 2006: We nearly broke up again. Long distance is so hard sometimes…

February 14th, 2006: Technically our 3rd Valentines Day together.

March 17th, 2006: I bought my 1st plane ticket for the Philippines.

April 1st, 2006: Our 2nd Anniversary.

December 13th, 2006: I left for the Philippines.

December 14th, 2006: The first time we met. The first time we looked in each other's eyes. The first time we hugged & held hands.

December 15th, 2006: The first time we kissed. Our first date out to the mall- we ate at 'Tokyo Tokyo' for Japanese food. Our first movie, 'Happy Feet'. First time we "made out" at the movies- (cuddling & holding hands.)

December 18th-21st, 2006: Our first couple vacation together in Makati City. Our first kiss in public outside on the bench in Greenbelt.

December 25th, 2006: The First Christmas we spent together. F.B. gave me the ring for Christmas that would become my engagement ring.

December 27-29th, 2006: We took another couple vacation to Tagaytay City, Philippines.

✯ 2007 ✯

January 1st, 2007: Our first New Years together.

January 3rd, 2007: I had to leave the Philippines to go home… that was the hardest thing I ever did… (I miss you baby).

January 10th, 2007: The day we got engaged!

April 1st, 2007: Our 3rd Anniversary.

March 2007: Bought my plane ticket for the Philippines!

✯ 2008 ✯

January 2nd, 2008: I left for the Philippines.

January 3rd, 2008: I arrive in the Philippines.

January 7th, 2008: We arrive in Makati City to spend a week. (A special date for us that we won't forget.)

January 10th, 2008: We share our 1 year engagement anniversary together in Makati City and get to go to Saisaki buffet.

January 11th, 2008: We see our first play together at Greenbelt in Makati City. 'Tuesday's with Morrie'

January 20th, 2008: We went to see a Philippine Basketball Game together at the Cuneta Astrodome. Our first sports game together.

January 24th, 2008: I return home from the Philippines.

March 10th, 2008: I buy another ticket to the Philippines. Staying 8 weeks this time!

April 1st, 2008: Our 4th Anniversary.

October 6th, 2008: I leave for the Philippines for an 8 week stay.

October 7th, 2008: I arrive in Philippines. F.B. gives me a red rose.

October 9th, 2008: I get to spend F.B.'s birthday with him and his family. Saisaki Buffet!

November 16th, 2008: For F.B.'s dad's birthday we take a family trip to Baguio for the day.

November 27th, 2008: I celebrate "Thanksgiving" in the Philippines with F.B.

December 4th, 2008: I arrive home from the Philippines

✯ 2009 ✯ 

January 10th, 2009: Our 2 year engagement.

April 1st, 2009: Our 5 year anniversary.

November 24, 2009: I leave for the Philippines

December 19, 2009: F.B. & I were married!

December 19th-21st 2009: Our Honeymoon!

December 25th, 2009: Our first Christmas as a married couple.

✯ 2010 ✯ 

January 1st, 2010: Our First New Years, married!

January 19th, 2010: Our 1st Monthiversary!

January 23rd, 2010: I leave the Philippines.

April 1st, 2010: Our 6 year anniversary!

✯ 2011 ✯ 

February 4th, 2011: F.B.'s visa interview at the US Embassy in Manila. His visa is approved to come to the USA!

March 6th, 2011: F.B. arrived in Philadelphia, PA!

April 1st, 2011: Seven Year Anniversary!

July 4th, 2011: F.B.'s 1st Independence Day in the USA

Aug 31st- Sept 1st, 2011: Our Philadelphia Getaway

September 4th, 2011: The 1st birthday F.B. spent with me.

October 9th, 2011: F.B.'s 1st birthday in the USA

October 30th, 2011: F.B.'s 1st Halloween in the USA

December 9th, 2011: F.B. & I get our own place.

December 19th, 2011: 2 Year anniversary!

December 25th, 2011: 1st Christmas in the USA.

✯ 2012 ✯  

January 1st, 2012: 1st New Years in the USA. 

February 14th, 2012: Our 1st Valentines Day together!  

March 6th, 2012: F.B.'s 1 year anniversary in the USA  

April 1st, 2012: 8 year anniversary!

October 9th, 2012: F.B.'s 2nd birthday in the USA.

November 2012: 1st Thanksgiving in our new place & starting immigration again.

December 19th, 2012: Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary

December 25th 2012: 2nd Christmas in our apartment.

✯ 2013 ✯  

January 2013: 2nd New Years Eve in our apartment.

March 6th, 2013: F.B.'s 2 year anniversary in the USA. 

April 1st 2013: It's been 9 years since F.B. & I started dating.

May 2013: Immigration is finished! 
October 9th, 2013: F.B.'s 3rd birthday in the USA.

December 19th, 2013: Our 4th Wedding Anniversary

✯ 2014 ✯  

January 2014: 3rd New Years Eve in our apartment.

March 6th, 2014: F.B.'s 3 year anniversary in the USA. 



(I'll try to keep this up to date by adding in new things from time to time.)

I've put together a Wedding Mix CD. F.B. & I are not having a big wedding. We are just having a civil ceremony, but we will be having a "reception" or dinner party with his relatives after we get married and I've been thinking it would be nice to play some of our favorite music at our "reception". And we could also play it at our renewel ceremony when F.B. comes to the USA after our immigration paperwork is complete.

I definitely want to play our Best Of: Mahal Mix CD & The Walk to Remember Soundtrack since they mean alot to us but I also thought it would be special to create a Wedding Mix CD of love songs that we've shared throughout our relationship and to start our future on.

So I've come up with a playlist of 19 songs. I initially wanted 21 songs but they wouldn't all fit on one CD so I had to get rid of a few songs. I also still need to get F.B.'s opinion (if he wants to add any other songs or replace any, etc.) but here is what I came up with for our Wedding Mix. I've included links to Amazon.com where you can preview the songs if you haven't heard them already.

1. Brand New Day- Forty Foot Echo
2. It's Gonna Be Love- Mandy Moore
3. Just For You- William Tell
4. Everywhere- Michelle Branch
5. Wherever You Will Go- The Calling
6. Things I'll Never Say- Avril Lavigne
7. Unbelievable- Craig David
8. The Way- Clay Aiken
9. Kiss Me- Sixpence None The Richer
10. I'll Be- Edwin McCain
11. I Wanna Be With You- Mandy Moore
12. The Reason- Hoobastank
13. She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
14. Again- Lenny Kravitz
15. Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
16. Far Away- Nickelback
17. Godsend- DC Talk
18. A Moment Like This- Kelly Clarkson
19. If You're Not The One- Daniel Bedingfield

Edited the songlist and changed song #4 to Michelle Branch, (F.B.'s suggestion.)

Okay... I admit it. I am a girly girl. I thought I just wanted a plain wedding band... but I couldn't help it... I wanted something shiny to go with my plain titanium wedding band that F.B. & I bought for our wedding ceremony in December. I got a titanium solitaire ring to go with my band. I ordered it 2 weeks ago and it came today. F.B. is going to pay half for our wedding bands. It was cheaper to get our rings in the USA. They look so pretty together... click the photo for the full size version. It's so much prettier close up!

P.S. Please ignore my winter dry cuticles...ewww! I guess I should have put lotion on my hands before taking a picture of the rings, oops... haha!

This has been a bad start to the new year. Last Friday I started with the office bug that's been going around. I felt like crap on Monday and called out of work. Tuesday we had update training so I had to be at work. And Wednesday I thought I would be okay but during the work day my cough was getting worse, sneezing, nose pouring... all that fun stuff. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home from work and picked up strong med's. Dayquil isn't cutting it. I got Tylenol Severe Congestion. So we'll see how that works.

I also picked up some hot chicken noodle soup... Ohhhh I have a bad obsession with chicken noodle soup. I can eat it for days in a row and not get tired of it. I love it. I eat it for dinner even when I'm not sick. So yesterday after work it was soup & bed for me and today when I woke up at 5am I felt like a truck had hit me. My body aches, my head aches, still coughing... blah. I called out again today and I'm going to bed after I post this and am sleeping ALL DAY. I can't wait until the weekend. It's a 3 day weekend because of the holiday on Monday... I just wish I wasn't sick! I really miss being with F.B. When I was sick in the Philippines he bought me noodle soup and mashed potatoes and listerine to gargle with for my sore throat... plus he always reminded me to take my vitamin c chews!

To top off my bad start to the new year my rat Sugar somehow sprained her front right paw on Sunday evening. I'm not even sure how. But now it's swelled up like a boxing glove almost. I've been giving her children's pain reliever for the pain. I just hope the swelling goes down or else I will have to take her to the vet on Monday or Tuesday so he can prescribe something for the swelling. She can't walk on it, she's just been holding it curled up. Earlier this week she was still eating with it, but as of last night she's not even doing that. And it hurts her terribly when you touch it or examine it, she cries.

I've been having such bad luck with my rats this past year. First was Cinnamon's emergency spay, Sugar getting a tick, Spice's mass removal, Spice passing away, Ginger getting her toes bit up by Sugar and now Sugar getting injured! I went a whole year without having any injuries or sickness and then 2008 & the beginning of this year everything just happened all at once. Rats really aren't as high maintenance as you would think... maybe someone jinxed me. And F.B. always laughs at me when I knock on wood... haha.


P.S. Sugar has a vet visit on Wednesday. The vet isn't in until then. The swelling still hasn't gone down on her paw and not sure if it will before her appointment he might have to prescribe something.

Today was our 2 year engagement anniversary. Last year I was in the Philippines in January and F.B. & I were able to spend our engagement anniversary together. We were staying in Makati City that week and went out for dinner to Saisaki Japanese Buffet. Mmmm... sushi. Haha! Wish we could have spent today together as well... last year was really nice. Happy Anniversary, Baby. I love you.

F.B. & I will be getting married December 2009. I was checking out wedding bands today online at Gordon's Jewelers and found wedding bands I love!













They are simple wedding bands made of titanium. (Just what I want!) I'm surprised they are so affordable. I thought titanium would be very expensive, but I suppose it depends on the design. I like the polished metal look. And I've always wanted silver or titanium wedding bands. Nothing too fancy. I think F.B. will agree with me, that simple is best.

Now I have to get F.B. to go to a jeweler to get an accurate ring size for him. I know I am a size 6. Then maybe we can order the rings early next year and we'll be all set for December! I'm so Excited!

Update on Spice: She is doing much better. She has a check up at the Vet on Tuesday. The stitches and incision are looking better. She's bad when it comes to taking her antibiotic though. She will try to drool it out her mouth (I give it to her in a oral syringe) Or if I hold her she won't swallow and then when I let her down she will wipe her mouth all over her blanket. Bad rattie! Oh well. I think most is getting in her.

Next Monday I'll be off to the Philippines! There's just 9 days left until I leave now! I really was going to pack next weekend, but I decided to start packing the stuff I'm not wearing. So I spent the morning packing. Next weekend, I'll just have to wash and pack the clothes I will wear this week and pack all the miscellaneous last minute stuff. Decided not to take my bright purple suitcase because it's not going to be big enough and I don't really want to take two bags with all the new luggage rules at the airport. So I'm taking my huge black suitcase with wheels and a smaller suitcase with wheels for my carry on. (Since I'm taking the laptop this year!) And that will be it, besides my purse.

Since F.B. & I are getting married December 2009 in the Philippines, I've decided I need to start looking up Immigration Lawyers in my area. I've already contacted about 5. I emailed 3 more tonight and am waiting for replies. 2 lawyers got back to me and I need to call the one back tomorrow. I want to compare fee's to see who is easiest to work with and who will really help me through the confusing process of filing all of the paperwork. Several have gotten back to me, but a few were too expensive, didn't explain the process, and one told me I needed to come in for a paid consultation before he would discuss anything!

The one lawyer I emailed in Center City Philadelphia, called my cell phone the last night but I missed his call. I called his office today but he was in a meeting. Then I ended up missing his call this evening by 15 minutes or so. But he left his cell phone number for me instead so I would be sure of getting ahold of him. He was so incredibly nice! We spoke for about 30 minutes and he went through all the processes/scenarios.

Here is the email I sent F.B. tonight about the immigration lawyer:

Hi Baby, I just got off the phone with the nicest immigration lawyer ever! All week I've been looking lawyers up online and in the phone book. I've emailed a few but they were either too expensive, or not helpful or wanted me to come in for a paid consultation before they would explain anything, even fees. A few were nice but were way too expensive. This lawyer in Center City Philadelphia called me last night after I emailed him but I missed his call. I called him at work today but he was in a meeting. Then I missed his call again when I took a shower, lol. Buttt.... he said he was leaving the office and would give me his cell phone number instead so I would be sure to get a hold of him.

So I called him around 6pm and he was sooo nice! He was actually driving home from the office but talked with me for 30 minutes. He went through each scenario with each visa, told me the processes, the costs, etc. He said his father has an office up around where I live and if I didn't want to travel all the way to center city- he would even come up to where I lived for consulatations, etc. He said they can do monthly payments with the fees and he usually requests half, but he could do a smaller percentage of that and then monthly fees over the course of the entire application process.

He actually told me a better way to go about the entire process! What I was thinking of doing. Was filing for a K-3 visa. That would get you into the USA. But then we would also have to apply for employment authorization. And then within 90 days we would need to file to change your status to a permanent immigrant resident. But those are 3 different forms, each with their own costs.

He says, we don't even have to file for a K-3 visa. If you just file the I-130 Petition for Alien Relative, once you file that paperwork you can at the same time apply for permanent immigrant status. Which means instead of going through 3 different processes we can go through 1 process. Which means when you finally step into the USA, you would already be a permanent immigrant resident. You could apply for a job as soon as you stepped off the plane, because you would be a USA resident. He says filing the I-130 starts off with mailing our marriage certificate, copies of our birth certificates, application, etc in. Then they mail you back a packet for the next step, where I mail in income tax copies, bank statements, etc. Which would cost around $355.

He says that first process takes around 3-7 months. Once that is finished Immigration will mail all of our paperwork to the US consulate in Manila Philippines. From there they would call you in for an interview for permanent resident status. You would have paperwork prepared with medical clearance, affidavits from our family and friends proving our relationship, etc. There would be a fee for the interview of a couple hundred dollars. This is the longest step because it can take 12-16 months for a decision. The lawyer would help us through each step and help us to prepare our applications, the packet you would need to take for your interview at the USA consulate, etc. All together it is an estimate of about $4,000. Really he said just $3,000 for the lawyer fees- the rest is the immigration fees.

If we went the other way that I was thinking we could actually be spending around $6,000 because it is 3 different processes. This way we work through one process you enter the USA a permanent resident, you can get a job and we are together. $4,000 is not a bad price at all, compared to the other lawyers I've been contacting. And none of them helped me through each scenario/situation like this lawyer. He is so nice F.B. we are definitely using him for our immigration lawyer. Even besides chatting about the legal stuff, he talked about how he grew up in Jenkintown, his father has a lawyer office in Feasterville near me. He asked me where I went to school, where I grew up, even said he looked at my myspace page and blog so he knew even more about our situation when I called.

He also said it's great I've kept copies of my plane tickets, itineraries from the past trips. That I have lot's of letters from you, etc. Because we can use that to document and prove our relationship. He advised me to start making copies of those things and getting them in order. I'll have to start doing that!

This is great! And the fact he does monthly payment plans is even better, that he will work with us with the payments and help us through the entire process is just wonderful. Aaah! So much stress is gone! With the time-frames for processing everything, you wouldn't be able to come to the USA until around 2011 at some point. So that's good for us too, since you said you still wanted to find a job over there and save money. This buys us at least another year and a half. What do you think of everything? I think we will definitely work with this lawyer and go the process he says. It will great that you would already be a permanent resident and be able to work as soon as you stepped off the plane! Yay!

I'm so excited that I finally found a great lawyer who will work with us and who takes the time to explain the processes, costs, etc. What he thinks is best and more cost effective. We are definitely going to choose him for our immigration lawyer!

NOTE: Our lawyers Peter J. Gonzales & Shanna Stanton have changed firms. They are no longer with Kahiga Tiagha. They are now with Green and Spiegel LLC, but still located in Philadelphia.

Some Links:

I-130 (Initial Form Filed)

IR1 (This explains what he was talking about.)

Extra Info ( On what the lawyer is suggesting.)

Thought I would do a flash back today. Here are some baby/kid pictures of F.B. & I! (Click on the photos to enlarge.)

Me















F.B.

F.B. & I

Do you see this silly baby?






















And this cute little boy?

















And this dorky guy?

He's ALLLL mine!!! Aren't I lucky?

Don't we make such a cute couple?

Now check out these email subject lines:

From Sarah Lynn: AHHHH! CAN WE REALLY?!

From F.B.: Yes...hehe.

WE'RE FINALLY GETTING MARRIED!!!

F.B. and I have been talking about things and working out alot of issues since last weekend. We've also been discussing the future. We've decided we'll be getting married next year! We never really had a set plan on when we were going to marry. But we've finally decided on getting married fall/winter of 2009. I will probably stay in the Philippines 4-5 months next year. No set date on the day we'll be getting married though because it depends on how long it takes to file our paperwork, marriage license, etc.

We will be getting married in the Philippines by a judge. We both have never wanted a big wedding. Just a small ceremony with family/friends and dinner out afterwards. (Here are the requirements for me to marry in the Philippines.)

We've also always talked about having a short honeymoon in Boracay! F.B. has always said he wanted to take me there and we agreed a long time ago we would do that when we got married!

Here are a few paragraphs from some of our emails from the past few days:

From Sarah Lynn: So are we getting married next year? Are we really?! Am I allowed to blog about it yet? Haha! I just want you to say we can do this, that we'll make the commitment and plan on getting married next year. I want that so much! I want to be with you for good... I want to start our lives together. And you know we probably won't get to really be "together" until some time in 2010. But at least we'll be married and working towards filing paperwork so we can actually live together in the same place!

And if you think about that, that's still awhile to find a job since it's only mid 2008, if we get married in late 2009 and don't live in the same place until 2010.... you see what I mean? Isn't that enough time for you? Aaaaaah! I want to get married to you! I do! I want to get married next year! I could stay for 4 months or so and we could get married and maybe even take a little honeymoon to Boracay for a few days... and we could get to spend so much time together. And I could come home and file paperwork for you to come here- unless you've found a great job, then I can file paperwork to move there...

From F.B.: Btw, the answer is yes baby. haha. We could get married late next year. I wanna be with you. I know that the job issue can get frustrating. But I do hope that I could find a job before that like you said, to get some experience and save up too. That would be nice. Late 2009 sounds nice baby. It's not that I changed my mind about it. I just thought it was a little too soon to get married this coming October like you said since I'm still looking for a job and you're saving money too. I wanna be able to save up some money too for us whenever I get a job.

We've always agreed that the person who was more financially stable wouldn't move. Since I've been at my Government job 6 years now, make a nice salary, have good health & retirement benefits, have my credit cards, good credit and our savings. The best option financially for us, would be for F.B. to move to the US. Now if F.B. does find an amazing job over there before or right after we marry I would definitely move to the Philippines to be with him. The person that moves will be unemployed for several months while the paperwork is filed and before they can find employment. We did talk about this option when I was in the Philippines in January and he agreed it made sense.

Also even though I love the Philippines so much & love visiting there, I wonder if it would be difficult for me to obtain employment there. The visa procedures also seem more complex than the USA procedures. I worry about the language barrier. Tagalog is the main language, even though English is also spoken. I don't think I will ever be able to speak Tagalog fluently. I know words & phrases and a little taglish, but I am not fluent. And I don't think I would ever be able to drive in the Philippines! The traffic scares me too much!

So that is my big news! We'll be getting married next year!!! I'm excited. We'll have to look at wedding bands when we are together in October. We can price them over there, though they may be cheaper to get here in the USA, we'll have to see. Hehe!

So... 2 years ago I lost 60 pounds. My lowest weight was 125 at 5'6". My favorite weight was 127. But the past year 8 pounds have come back & stuck to my butt somehow... blah. I'd just like to get back to 127. I feel my best at that weight. I've been around 132-135 lately. And I don't like it at all. I know most of you are going to say that weight is just fine & I'm crazy. But all of my jeans which are 5/6's & 7/8's are extremely snug on me lately. To the naked eye I don't look like I've gained weight, but to me when I'm pulling on my jeans and they are snug and uncomfortable to sit in & few pairs I can't even zip up anymore... it's a huge deal! More so, because I worked so hard two years ago to take all the weight off and to have even a little of it creep back on is scary to me...

I used to run constantly when I first lost the 60 pounds on my treadmill. I would run/walk 30 min every day. Then when I got down to my goal weight I started running twice a week. But this year since I've gotten back from the Philippines in January I have been very lazy about working out. I don't really have a set schedule at all & there's been a few months where I've just worked out once the entire month. My diet is pretty much to same & I always watch what I eat... so I know that's not the issue... my issue is getting my butt on my treadmill and sticking to a schedule. I've been extremely lazy this year and it's starting to catch up with me...

Monday I started working out again. Now instead of struggling through 30 minutes of running/walking twice a week, I've been running for a full 15 minutes. Which is a nice change from my usual workout that was becoming monotonous to me. So all this week Monday-Friday I'll be running 15 minutes every day. Then I'll try to increase to 20 min next month... when my body gets used to working out again! It feels so good to work out & I can't wait until my jeans are actually comfortable on me again!

In other news... F.B. & I have been emailing & meeting for our online "dates" on the weekend. It's nice getting back on track with my relationship. We always chatted on my cell phone on instant messenger on my lunch breaks every day, but it's nice to be able to talk about stuff again and to spend more time with each other. We've been having some serious discussions/talks the past weekend/week. I might be able to announce some big news on this blog within the next couple of days. Stay tuned...

Cinnamon went back for her 2nd check up tonight. And they removed the metal sutures! They also said I could stop the antibiotic. So my girl is all better! She hasn't had any bleeding since she got spayed. And she's getting chunky again. Her surgery area is turning into a scar and she's growing her fur back on her belly already. I undid the latch in the cage that separates the two levels so that she can live with her sisters Sugar & Spice again. I was worried they might fight or have dominance issues, since they were separated for 2 weeks, but they've been quiet all evening. I'm sure all of them are happy to have free range of the entire cage again!

In other news F.B. & I have been communicating better than we have these past few weeks. We still haven't talked seriously about things yet, but we are both doing much better since my venting post. Long distance relationships are so difficult & the distance between us is just crazy! It's so difficult when you're both from different countries. It's just so frustrating & such a struggle sometimes. Talking about or planning our future is also full of complications and struggles. Thank you everyone for your comments, thoughts & advice. I really appreciate it.

I'm contemplating canceling my trip to the Philippines for October... I emailed Orbitz to ask them whether my ticket is refundable or non-refundable. Somehow I think it's non-refundable though and there's no way I'm letting $1,100 go down the drain, not to mention the $900.00 I still owe on my credit card...

I'm just so frustrated with our relationship right now. I've been missing our "dates" online each weekend because whenever I get online to talk with him I feel depressed or I feel angry with him. Whenever I bring up the job issue I get, "I'm sorry.", "I hope...", "It would be nice..."

The "Job Issue" has became a huge issue for me. It's been a year since F.B. graduated college. He's been looking for employment but he just hasn't found anything. Sometimes I just don't know if he is putting himself out there as much as he should or trying as hard as he should. We had an argument about this back in January after I got back from the Philippines because when we were together I asked him if he was still job searching and he said, "He put it off because he knew I was coming to visit and he didn't want to be working when I visited."

We disagree sometimes because we have different points of views and experiences. I've gotten up for 6 years and gone to a job I dislike... but I do it because the money there allows me to travel yearly, to save money for my future and it's also worth it because I have 3-4 months off out of the year. (I work for the Dept of the Treasury).

F.B. wants to find the perfect job. And I try to explain to him, the first job he finds might not be his dream job, it might be something he has to do until something better comes along. But it would be a job and it would mean security and income to save together and I know he wants to save for our future together. But it's been a year! And my Fiance is going to be 29 years old this October and he still has not found a job! I still live with my parents too, but I support myself. I also pay a lot of bills for my parents- towards my rent. And they know I am saving money to move out & get married.

It's just gotten to the point where I am so frustrated and angry with him. I'm tired of giving people an honest answer when they ask, "Has your fiance gotten a job yet?" I want to lie to them just to stop them from answering, "He STILL hasn't found a job!?" I'm tired of being embarrassed about it. I'm tired of laughing bitterly about it or making stupid jokes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life. I could have gone to a tech school in these 4 years. I actually was enrolled in a tech school almost 4 years ago but the school canceled my classes and I haven't tried again. I put the tech school idea off because I didn't want to be tied to loans in the USA if I was going to move to the Philippines. I didn't want to tie up my money or have major debt when we are saving to be married.

To be honest. I don't really want to move to the Philippines anymore. To do so would mean giving up driving, (I am NEVER driving over there!), my credit cards, financial security, employment opportunities. Somehow I understand that he might not be able to just walk in and get a quick job as a cashier or something. They do not have equal opportunity employment in the Philippines. I've looked at the want ad's. They have age requirements & cut-offs for certain jobs. Their requirements for a job are so specific sometimes they ask you to be a certain age, height, weight, sex & religion. At least if I stay in the USA. I have job security. Both my parents have been saying to me lately, "Just get married and bring him to the USA." My Dad said, "There's more job opportunities in the USA." For my Dad to say that... Wow.

F.B. has never been "excited" about the prospect of moving to the USA. He isn't looking to just come to the USA. If he was, he would have married me the first chance I gave him. But he's a good guy and he wants things to be perfect for us when we do get married. He wants to have money and to feel secure. He worries too much about things sometimes. He's always wanted to stay in the Philippines & the plan was always for me to move to the Philippines... but lately my feelings have changed on that.

If it's taking him this long to find a job, it would make more sense for us to get married & work on bringing him to the USA so he could find employment here. Filing the paperwork would take long enough to even get him over here. But even the "marriage thing" is a big argument with us... I am just so frustrated with my relationship right now and need to vent....

EDIT: My ticket is non-refundable, I won't be canceling my trip to the Philippines...

F.B & I have been having relationship issues lately. The long distance thing becomes a struggle sometimes. And we go through these periods after we've been together in person, where it becomes harder to communicate. Lately we've haven't been meeting as often for our "dates" online on the weekends. Partly my fault. Sometimes I'm so exhausted after a full work week and I want to sleep in on the weekend. Or I'm feeling depressed and don't feel like I can communicate through instant messenger. It's been harder to communicate lately, through email & instant messenger. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say to him. It's hard when you can't be a part of each other's daily lives... can't experience all the little things together... it's hard when you have to relate your entire day through email... in order to maintain a relationship, instead of just cuddling up at the end of the day... together.

Our relationship feels a bit stagnant right now... and there's still 4 1/2 more months until my trip back to the Philippines, until we get to be together again. There's also issues we are dealing with; the fact F.B. is still struggling to find employment a year after he graduated college. Stress on me with saving up money for our future and just feeling like we are never going to be together for good... where are we going? I've just been having these feelings lately and that always seems to happen after we've been together and then have to go through the long distance "separation" phase again. It's just been tough the past 2 months and we are struggling somewhat to get back on track... because in long distance relationships it's all about staying in touch and having good communication... it's something you have to work at every day.

In other news, this will be the first time I'll be staying in the Philippines 2 months. My past trips, I've only stayed 3 weeks, which was the limit I could stay on my passport. I'm still worried about my passport... I have to contact the Philippine Consulate in August to make sure they are still mailing it out in September and haven't forgotten about it. (Visa Issues)

Whenever I'm in the Philippines for awhile I'll go through a moment of culture shock and homesickness. The first year this happened first when I got my period and discovered there were no tampons! I was also homesick on Christmas Day, when we went to the mall to have lunch. There were just hundreds of people & familes at the mall on Christmas Day & it was just a bit of a culture shock to me because at home the malls are closed on Christmas Day & everyone stays home with their families.

In January I had a homesickness moment too. It was the first time I was away from my new pet ratties and the previous year I had went to the Philippines my Ferret Nippy had been sick with cancer and when I returned home I had been too tired to see her. When I woke up the next morning I went to say hello to her and she had passed away in the night. So it was kind of hard being away from my new pets because I was afraid of the same thing happening...

I also had another culture shock when I hurt my knee and we were looking for an 'Ace' bandage, I had to explain to F.B. what it was; "Those tan stretchy bandages with the metal clips." before he knew what I meant. (I know Ace is a brand in the USA. But pretty much everyone calls those tan bandages an 'Ace' bandage in the USA.) We finally found one in Mercury Drug, but they are called 'Elastic' bandages in the Philippines, haha. I was feeling so homesick that night we went to eat at Friday's because it was somewhere familiar to me except the price of Friday's in the Philippines is just crazy! We experienced this the first time we went to Friday's in the Philippines, haha. Normally F.B. & I can go and eat at a sit down place for around $10 or less between us. But Friday's is so expensive! My salmon plate alone cost $17! We ended up splitting the bill.

So... I wonder what it will be like staying in a foreign country for 2 months. I'm sure I'll have some homesickness & culture shock moments. But at least they'll make interesting blogs!

I've decided I'm going to take my laptop to the Philippines with me this year, since I'll be over there 2 months. I've already taken other electronics with me, F.B. has adapter boxes in his house that plug into the outlets there and decrease the voltage for US electronics. So this way I don't blow out my ipod, cell phone, etc when I plug them in to charge. The voltage is higher over there. I think it is 220v. When F.B. was younger his US relatives were visiting and plugged his Super Nintendo directly into the wall- since it was the US version it blew it out, he's still upset about that!

So today I was able to get a cute little carry on suitcase with wheels. This way I can take my laptop on the plane with me and store it in the overhead. And I'm going to put a small bag inside my carry on bag to take out on the plane and store under my seat, with my books, snacks, sleep mask & sleeping pills, pillow, etc. You don't want to be on a 15 hour flight to Hong Kong without those things underneath the seat in front of you! Then I don't have to keep climbing over people (since I'll be a window seat!) to get access to my stuff. Haha.

I took my Mom out for an early Mother's Day today. We went out to lunch at 'Red Lobster' and then to 'Bath & Bodyworks'. My Mom was going to get her tattoo today and I was going to get my stars retouched since they are healed and get my name on my other ankle, but they were booked solid so we made an appointment for Tuesday at 5pm.

F.B. and I are meeting online for a date tomorrow. It's been a few stressful weeks for me at work and we haven't really been emailing or meeting for dates on weekends. This coming Saturday I have to work 10 hours of overtime, so we'll have to meet on Sunday as well. It's going to be a busy week for me...

From Myspace Blog:

March 12, 2007 - Monday
Updates....only 8 more months....
Current mood: excited

Ohhhh... just 8 more months until I'm on that plane to go back to the Philippines. I booked my hotel about a week ago! Orbtiz.com was having a very nice sale and I saved $100! F.B. & I will be staying in Makati City for a full week this time. January 7th-12th. We really enjoyed staying at the Best Western Astor Hotel there and it's right in the city so plenty of places to drive or walk too.

We will get to spend our engagement anniversary on January 10th in Makati City. I think we are going to go out to dinner somewhere. Maybe Gerry's Grill, hehe, we love that place. And F.B. is going to get me a proper engagement ring and propose properly as well.

Been having issues with the ring I have now. F.B. gave it to me on Christmas day when we were together. I love my ring, it happened to be a size too big, so I had it resized, then a month ago the stone fell out when I was at the store, my Mom, Brother & I went back to look for it and my Brother found the stone in the doormat to the store. So I took it back to the jeweler and they had to replace the head on it. I just got it back this week. F.B. & I have both put alot of money into the ring... which is why I wanted it to be my engagement ring, but it was never really intended for that, and F.B. wants to get me a proper sturdier engagement ring, and propose to me on our engagement anniversary.

F.B. graduated on Friday!!! He's all finished college now! You can see a few pictures in his profile from his graduation. He's first on my friends list. I'm so proud of him... I wish I could have been there for his graduation though... I feel sad that I missed that.... I called him at work this morning at 8:30am- it was 8:30pm in the Philippines and he was out to dinner with his Mom & Aunt.

Tomorrow I am having an early mother's day with Mom, we will be going out to lunch and to the mall, so I'll be off to bed now.

*~Sarah~*

March 12th, 2007: I am off to the Philippines in about 10 more months! The ticket prices are too expensive for Christmas this year, but they were very cheap for January. So I will be going back to the Philippines in January 2008!!!

I just booked my ticket! Orbitz will be mailing my ticket to me. I'll be leaving from Philadelphia on January 2nd, 2008. And arriving in the Philippines on the 3rd. I'll be coming home on January 24th, 2008!

It will be nicer anyhow, since I can spend the holiday's with my family this year at home. And F & I will get to spend more time with each other after the holidays, when it won't be chaotic & crowded every where.

Only 10 more months until I'm with my boy again! I'm so excited! I put the ticket on my credit card this time though, so now I have to repay $1,167.00 back... but my laptop will be paid off at the end of this month- only two more payments. And then I can work on paying off my plane ticket. It should take less than a year to pay that money off, so it's not a problem. And I can still continue to save for getting married. The money in my savings is for my future with F. So I can't touch that at all.

I will probably be booking the Best Western Hotel in Makati City sometime soon. We are thinking of staying a week in the city this time. Either from, January 7th-12th. Or January 7th-11th. We'll see. I have to save up a little money first and then book that, because it will probably cost $300.00-400.00 dollars for 5 nights.... oh well... just about 10 more months!!!

Time for bed now, if I can sleep! I'm so amped up! But I have to wake up at 5;15am... blech.... so goodnight!!!

*~Sarah~*

P.S. This is quite ironic... I'll be arriving in the Philippines on January 3rd, the day I left this past year, hehe.

F.B. & I decided to get engaged yesterday. After talking & discussing things. Of course there is no set date of when we will be marrying. Only that we decided to get engaged & start planning for our future. It could be 2-3 years more before we get married. F.B. will be finishing college in May. He's starting his OJT this semester. He is in college getting his bachelor degree in computer science. If all goes well- the company he does his job training with may hire him after graduation. Then he can also begin saving for our future. We need to get our finances in order before we plan to marry.

I need to look into all the legal procedures for the Philippines. If we get married, it will be at Justice of the Peace in the Philippines. Not really a wedding. We don't really want that. Just some family & friends & maybe a dinner after wards.

I would be moving to the Philippines. That would be a big adjustment for my life. Yes it is a big step & a big change. But it's something I want to do. I've been back here in the US a little over a week & I'm going crazy. I miss the Philippines... I want to go back. I would like to visit again in the late summer this year if it's possible & works out.

I need to find out all the legal procedures for me to stay over there & work legally- without giving up my us citizenship. We need to save money- so that when I moved over there we would be okay financially while I secured a job. I would like to work in a call center and be a customer service rep. I understand the US is better off economically & I might only be making half of what my US paychecks were over there, but I'm not looking to get rich or have a career. That's not what I want. What I want is to be with my boy, and for us to have a little house somewhere and start our own life.

*~Sarah~*

December 14th, 2006 I arrived in the Philippines for the first time. I was scared to death. It was the first time I had been out of the United States. It was the first time I'd ever traveled alone. My flight had taken me from Philadelphia to Chicago. Chicago to Hong Kong- Hong Kong to the Philippines. A 24 hour flight all together. I arrived in Manila a little after midnight on the 14th.

When I pulled my suitcase out to the waiting area. There was F.B. & his Mother waiting for me in the crowd of people. His Mom was holding a purple banner with my name on it. It was the first time F.B. & I were face to face. We gave each other a hug and my first words to him were, "You're not so short!" See what happens when your brain is sleep deprived!? He always cracks up when I remind him of the first words I spoke to him in person. (It really wasn't a big deal though. I'm 5'6" he's 5'3") He gave me white roses when I got to the car and waiting at his house was a stuffed monkey I named 'Mr. Unggoy'. (Monkey in Tagalog.)

Blog Flashback: Got to the Philippines on 12-14-06. After a lonnnng flight. About 25 hours in total. I was pretty nervous at all the airports... the Chicago airport was pretty small. But I was scared to death in Hong Kong... that airport is HUGE! I had to ask for directions. I had to take this funny shuttle thing to the check in area. And then they didn't put a gate number on my ticket & I had to go look on the board to find it, and at first it was in Chinese. But then it changed to English. Got to Manila airport around 11pm. And met my boyfriend & his mother at the airport.
3 years into the relationship and we had finally met. After all the roller coasters in our relationship we were finally together. The first night we were together we hugged alot. And we shared our first 3 kisses that night as well. We couldn't believe we were actually together after all this time. It was a little weird at first being together in person, after talking online, through letters & the phone for so long. But things fell into place. We got along so well in person, we were best friends. We felt so comfortable around each other. For our first date. F.B. took me to the mall near his house. We ate at 'Tokyo Tokyo' and I tried Sushi for the first time. Then we got to see our first movie together, 'Happy Feet'.

I stayed for 3 weeks in the Philippines. We got to spend Christmas and New Years together. (On Christmas I was given my ring- though we hadn't decided on getting engaged just then.) We stayed a few days alone in Makati City and a few days alone up in Tagaytay City seeing the Taal Volcano. We had such a good time. It was so hard to say goodbye. I left the Philippines, January 3rd, 2007. When I was standing in line to check in for my flight I got a text message from F.B. saying to look behind me. He was able to watch me through the windows of the airport and would walk along when I did, waving to me until I had to pass through customs... and board my plane...

Some pictures from my first trip to the Philippines:



















































Blog Flash Back: 12-16-2006

Got to the Philippines on 12-14-06. After a lonnnng flight. About 25 hours in total. I was pretty nervous at all the airports... the Chicago airport was pretty small. But I was scared to death in Hong Kong... that airport is HUGE! I had to ask for directions. I had to take this funny shuttle thing to the check in area. And then they didn't put a gate number on my ticket & I had to go look on the board to find it, and at first it was in Chinese. But then it changed to English. Got to Manila airport around 11pm. Went through customs, got my luggage & went outside. There were a tonnnn of people... I was so nervous. F's mom had made a purple banner with 'Sarah' on it, so I could find them, and I saw F. & Gave him a hug and said, "You're not so short!"

The next day F & I went to a mall near his house. It was 5 levels. And huge!!! Lot's of people. We stopped and walked around a supermarket in the mall. We also had Japanese for lunch & I tried sushi. Then F & I saw the movie 'Happy Feet'. Lol. But it was just okay.

Today we just hung out around his house. And tomorrow we are going to church. And Monday we are off to Makati City for 4 days. That's about it for now.