The Future, Whatever It May Bring...

We talk about the future alot and what might happen. We talk about meeting for the first time. We talk about F.B. coming to stay with his relatives in Virginia after graduation. We talk about getting married someday. We talk about having kids and our own house. We don't really know what the future is going to bring for us. What we do know, is that we love eachother, and we will make things happen someday.

I agree with the whole marriage thing. It doesn't really have to be expensive or something. But I'm definitely not gonna get you one of those gumball rings. LoL! Silver rings would be nice though and it would be interesting to get married on April Fools day. hehe! And I'm cool with the Justice of the peace thing.....anyway, what's important is that you're gonna be married to the one you love. I love you, F.B.

I still haven't done the marriage vow thingie though. I mean, I've written it already, just didn't deliver the speech just yet. I think that'll be next week though. It's not really much but most of it is really my own words and I just added a few things off the internet. And of course, it was you who I had in my mind when I was writing it. So here it is baby, I'll just type it up for you here for you to see. I'll just underline the stuff I got from the internet. Here goes...

I love you...no better words describe what I feel for you. I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life. You are such a blessing. You are a gift from above...You are my friend, my love...my angel. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for all the love that you give to me. You are such an inspiration. You make me want to be a better person. And I love the way that you love me. I need your love...I need you. I thank that Lord for binding our lives together. I feel so blessed to have found you.

I promise to be there for you...When you're sad, I'll be there to put a smile on your face. When you cry, I'll be there to wipe your tears. When you're feeling down, I'll be there to comfort you. And when no one seems to understand, I'll be there to listen...I promise to care for you, honor you, and protect you. I lay down my life for you. I give you all that I have. I give you my friendship, my trust and my support...I give you all of my love. And as we enter this life together, I pledge my love and faith to you for as long as I live.

Well, that's about it baby. Whatcha think? I'll probably be delivering that speech on Monday or so...Anyway, I hope you get my letter soon baby. Maybe you'll get it during the weekend. That would be so nice. I miss you baby. I look forward to our date on Saturday. Btw, my mom, sis and I will be having some breakfast buffet on Father's day. Just wanted my girl to know. Have a nice weekend baby...I love you. *mwah* -F.B.

I'm glad you like my marriage vow thingie. I guess I did take that a bit personally. LoL! I did think about you a lot when I was writing that. And I pray that someday I'd get to do those things for you...I'll probably be delivering that speech tomorrow morning in my speech class. And don't worry baby, I won't wear any axe. LoL! I don't think the girls in school would want a dork like me though. That's why sometimes I wonder why you love me. hehe. I love you, F.B.
Hi girlfriend ko. I miss you. I finally got that marriage vow thingie done. It went ok, I guess. Like I said, it's just reading in front of the class anyway. When I was reading it though, I had this certain feeling that I couldn't explain. It was weird. haha. I guess it's cuz I really do have these feelings for you and that the vow thingie was kinda personal to me. hehe...I'm really glad you like it baby. *mwah* I love you, F.B.
We sometimes talk about being married and having a family. At one point we picked out names.

FB: kids, eh......I bet they'd be cute
SARAH: lol.... haha- can I have the soap now though, I think I may need it...
FB: Nevaeh
SARAH: Haha! Aw! You spelt it right. :-)
FB: I did.....woohoo
SARAH: You mean Emily Nevaeh
SARAH: What about Christopher James Matthew? Good lord... this kid will have a name as long as yours if I keep adding on...
SARAH: you know why I picked Christopher right?
FB: because of me
SARAH: yes because of your name. :-)
FB: We could call him CJ. LoL!
SARAH: Hee hee, that's cute.
FB: HOLY CRAP! I said "we" Haha!
SARAH: Yeah you did... isn't that funny. It's funny- but feels right. When I think about things, I always think in terms of 'us' lol. I can't help it...I love you
FB: I love you too
I was just saying- it would be nice to have another middle name- before of after Nevaeh- but then when you came up with that initial idea the other day- but I couldn't find anything I really liked. And then you said something about Z- did it stand for Zoe- (in the initial ideas I had) and I said- no. And said something about your mom's name, and then you said Zen- and at first I thought you meant for initials- Z.E.N. but then I really liked that. Because that would be her initials- but also the first three letters of her first name... we could call her a bunch of things. Zen, Z, Emily, Emmy, Em... etc. I really do like it alot... :-)

Christopher James Matthew (CJ)
Zenaida Emily Nevaeh (Zen)

Whatcha think? This is so funny, I can't believe we are picking out names.... LOL. I love you, Sarah

CJ and Zen.....very nice names you've picked out there, Ms. Clydesdale. I love 'em. I love. *mwah* I love you, -F.B.

You don't like Zenaida Emily Nevaeh? I think it sounds pretty actually, I mean for a little girl- it's a big long name- but you know we could call her Z.E.N. haha, or Emily, or Emmy. Zen & CJ.... I dunno.... I'm kinda liking this.... the things you make me think... -Sarah

I like Zenaida Emily Nevaeh, it's just that I thought you wanted the name to be before or after Nevaeh.....Zen does sound nice though. I like it. -F.B.

I'll be teaching you and the kids tagalog stuff. Hehe! That oughtta be fun. Mahal kita. *mwah* Then we could teach' em to spell, being "duh spelchekerr" and all......Zen, spell Pennsylvania. Haha! Ya know, sometimes I still have to look at that thing's spelling when I send you letters. The double n kinda confuzzles me. LoL!

I think I've mentioned to Mom about the names before....I don't remember exactly. But I do remember asking her if she already had names picked out when she was still single. And she said no- she didn't start until she and Dad got together. Anyway, if we got married- I think you should call her Mom or whatever Mom type name you wanna call her. LoL! -F.B.
We've been talking about what will happen after his graduation. Recently, I decided I was going to start saving up, to be with him on his graduation.

I'm not really sure of what I'll be doing after I graduate. But it would be nice to get something computer related. Something that maybe I could use the stuff I studied in Computer Science. I think that would be really cool. Ya know, call centers are pretty popular around here nowadays. It's pretty much about marketing and stuff. But I don't think I could be the phone guy. LoL! I'm sorry about before. I did feel that I upset you with that reply. And though you said I didn't, I still feel I did...somehow. I can be a stupid dork sometimes and I'm really sorry. Anyway, I think it would be nice if I could visit there before I graduate. Maybe visit some relatives and visit you too. That would be nice. It's true though that I'd be nervous cuz I wanna be perfect for you but I'm just me...the quiet silly dork. LoL! I love you, F.B.

That graduation idea does seem so nice baby. That would be so special to have you to share it with on that special day. And if you were around here, I bet you could just stay at our house. That would be nice. And I'll be a good boy...promise. LoL! I hope everything works out with my classes and stuff. I do wanna graduate soon. Ya know, my sister will be graduating soon. I don't know exactly when but I think she'll be graduating from college before I do. That's nice and all and I'm happy for her...She's a smart girl. But that makes me feel bad somehow too. Cuz it just makes me realize that I coulda finished my studies already if I just took things seriously before and didn't cut classes and stuff. *sigh* I was a bad boy baby...Do you still love me? I love you, F.B.
Ahhhhh! I'm so excited to come see you for your graduation, hee hee. It's all I can think about. I love our couple vacation idea. And I think we should go to Tagaytay! We can sightsee and spend time together, alone as a couple. Since I know your mommy is gonna make you sleep in her room, so I can have your room, while I'm staying. hee hee. Oh baby! That'll be just so nice though! Spending time together alone. You can drive me around, and we can take pictures of all the pretty palm trees and stuff. And we can spend lots of alone time in our room, hee hee. *mwah* Sooooo looking forward to spending some time with my boyfriend, and getting to kiss him, and be close to him. I love you, Sarah

That vacation thing does sound nice baby and I do think about that lotsa times too. There's definitely lotsa places to stay at Tagaytay. My mom mentioned something about Boracay since we do have relatives around there...my aunt and uncle who used to live in Modesto. She also said that if Dad wasn't around when you come here, you could sleep with her in their room. haha. But I just said I'd give you my room instead. I love you, F.B.

You'd give up your room for me, awww. You're sucha sweetie. I love you so much. I wish I hadn't been stubborn about wanting to come see you... and just wanting you to come see me... I could have been saving long before this. *sigh* Oh well. It'll all work out. I love you, I wanna be with you, Sarah
Well... I have to tell you the unusual thing that happened today. When I got to work, Virginia was acting all mysterious and telling me to look in my desk drawer. And I didn't end up doing it until 9 o' clock break. So I find a card envelope in there, and I open it up, and there's all this cash in there, and this little letter from her. And it said something like this is for your trip, to help you out more towards your goal and to use for your flight expenses. She wanted me to either put it in a CD at the bank to get some interest, or in my savings. So she was out on her break and I didn't even look to see how much she'd given me, I went to talk to Ike about it... because I'm not really comfortable taking money from people, even if it's a gift. Unless it's family, or super close friends. So I wrote her a note back, saying that it was thoughtful and everything, but I couldn't really accept something like that. And that I have 16-8 months to save up the money for the trip, and I'll be able to do it, it will just take some time. And I left the envelope and note on her desk. So she read it, and started getting kinda offended about it (that's Virginia!) and she was like, "Well if you don't take it, I'll just get your social security number off your time sheet, and go to the bank and put it away for you myself!" LOL! I'm like, I can save the money for the trip, it'll take awhile, but I can do it. And she's like, "But this would get you a little closer, and give you some more security."

Then she started talking about her husband. (Her husband died when he was in his 30's from a heart attack. And her 3 boys are real jerks towards her, they don't live with her anymore and are really mean to her, maybe they blame her for their dad dying, I don't really know. They are just troublemakers, in and out of jail, and never even get their mother birthday presents or anything.) So, she was saying, she remembers being how it was when she met her husband and she says there was fireworks when they kissed for the first time and how they really loved eachother and how they were meant for eachother, and how when he died she lost a part of herself along with him. And she said, she just wants to give someone else a chance to have some happiness, like she had when she was with her husband, and a chance to meet that someone special... which made me wanna cry, haha. And she's like, "Will you just think about taking, it please, it'll make me happy. And all I want is for your to send me a postcard when you get there, or take a picture of the two of you." LOL! I still feel sorta uncomfortable, but I took it, and she was really happy all day, lol. I put it in my savings account.

But... she gave me alot of money F! She gave me $250.00... that's alot alot of money. I can't believe that. I think I'll buy her a pair of new headphones tomorrow, because her old ones were acting up today,lol. I mean what else can I do? I already wrote her a little thank you note at work, and wrote 'Salamat' that's thank you in my boyfriends language, and I'll send you a postcard and picture. And she was really insulted when I tried to give it back to her, she's kinda stubborn, lol. I dunno baby that was awful thoughtful. What did I do to deserve that? I love you, and I want to be with you baby, I do, I do, I do. I wouldn't ever wanna settle for someone less. I want you, I need you, and I love you. And you know I understand you, and you understand me, and there's no one that could understand us like we understand eachother. And you love me, and I love you. I don't want anyone else, but you. I love you, Sarah

That's really nice what Virginia did. She gave you $250. Wow! That's a lot baby. It's good that you took it though, cuz she probably would've felt bad if you didn't. haha. I know I'd feel bad if I gave someone a gift and they wouldn't take it. So that's good baby. That's really nice of her though. Tell her I said "Salamat" too. You mean so much to me. You're my best friend, my girlfriend, my angel. You're always in my prayers. Take care and God bless. I miss you. I love you Sarah. *mwah* F.B.
I was thinking... it's not up to fate, it's up to us. It's our decision with where we want to take things with us, and if we say, "I want to be with you." Then we can make it happen, no doubt about it. And we will make it happen. I love you, Sarah

I agree- a time will come that it's just gonna happen. We're gonna make it happen. You'll be there for me and I'll be there for you. I love you, Sarah, F.B.